A friend of mine who performs an excellent job working as an Image Consultant said to me a few days ago, “Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What’s a sun-dial in the shade?” She was listening carefully to something I said about the amount of people who would admit to me that they find it difficult to enter a room full of strangers and make that first important impression. They say the difficulty lies in trying not to sound like someone who has been badly advised before an interview to dazzle the  panel in the first five minutes with all their qualifications and conquests to date, but most times come across as sounding arrogant.

The dazzling of the panel I don’t believe is the problem; I quite like to hear how the interviewee or stranger has arrived at where they are now…it’s the delivery of the conquests that usually takes a hit, resounding in a clear lack of confidence in the individual who most times seems to doubt,  mid-flow,  the reason why they started to tell the panel/stranger about their past qualifications and experiences in the first place.

My friend was quoting from Benjamin Franklin and not only did I find myself using the quote in conversation later that day, but she really got me thinking about the knack that is required in finding that balance when we introduce ourselves to strangers. As a child I was always told it’s not good to boast too much but it’s not good to be shy either, yet after having waded my way through 50 or so CV’s lately for a position that I am trying to fill in America, I couldn’t believe the extreme, that American applicants go to, to sell themselves on paper in some cases even verging on the ridiculous!

My friend’s use of her quote tells me that self-confidence comes from being able to express who you are through your image, voice, values, beliefs, persona and overall presentation of self. She says strong and direct communication and belief in yourself emanates your confidence to your listener.  She says we should believe that people will admire us and as a result they will. All easier said than done for those of us who are not masters at projecting the correct image in a natural manor and- unlike our colleagues in the States who have it drilled into them that perception is projection.

So do we have it wrong, those of us who have talked to someone who is seemingly arrogant or overly opinionated and thought ‘oh, my God I’m glad I’m not like that’, when really we (the quieter folk) are making the mistake by not oozing confidence. Some believe when we meet a person for the first time and find them overpowering, we are actually seeing a bit of ourselves in them.

My solution is this, definitely do not hide your talents, my nine year old is an example of that as she takes every opportunity to impress my friends and family with the recent song she has written. Easy for a child of course with less inhabitations but should be easy for adults too if we are confident in our approach. Don’t overpower your audience but let them know a little bit about you that will no doubt relax them into telling you a bit about them.

This advice applies to all walks of life,  not only to those who are pushed into rooms full of strangers and told to mingle, or those who are interviewing for that all-important job, but talents as Franklin asserts  comes in all shapes and forms, the worst thing we can do is hide them.